If there was one word I would use to best describe my past professional life, it would not be “successful.” Or “impactful.” Or “beneficial.” While I think my career had elements of all three words, I really think the word that best sums it up is “busy.”

If you asked my wife or children the one thing they most regret about my work, they would most likely say that I missed far too many meals around the family table. And they would be right. I wasn’t where I was needed most. Busyness also kept me from quality time with meaningful friendships and healthy activities. 

Chuck Swindoll shoots straight to the heart: “Busyness destroys relationships. It substitutes shallow frenzy for deep friendship. It feeds the ego but starves the inner man. It fills a calendar but fractures a family.”

Why are we so busy? A Columbia Business School study found that Americans view those who are overworked and constantly busy as possessing higher social status. When we tell someone, “Oh man, I am incredibly busy,” it can often be code-word for “I am so indispensable” to my company, my clients, my patients, my students, etc. Busyness can be a badge of honor in a society afraid of stillness.

James Houston, the Oxford professor and co-founder of the C.S. Lewis Institute, said, “Busyness is a narcotic of the soul, because it gives me self-importance. But it’s a false source of self-fulfillment.”

Sometimes we use busyness to drown out our problems, as if we are running from something. Or busyness becomes the anesthetic of choice for our loneliness. Busyness isn’t a cure for anything. In fact, it can actually cause physical exhaustion and emotional injury. Busyness is not our friend.

One dictionary defined busyness as “lively but meaningless activity.” Just because we are busy doesn’t mean we are productive. Sailboats moving in a circle are busy, but they aren’t going anywhere. They aren’t reaching their destination. Busy people can find themselves in the same boat.

So, what should busy people do? Here are a few tips to help overcome busyness:

1. Make time with loved ones a priority. 
2. Take a vacation or staycation with minimal activity. 
3. Take time to play, nap, read or visit friends.
4. Avoid overextending yourself by saying no to time-consuming after-hour committees or causes.
5. Remind yourself that your self-worth is not defined by your calendar, job-title, possessions or accomplishments.
6. Get counseling or life-coaching to help you recalibrate your schedule and priorities.

Thomas Merton, the brilliant Trappist monk and workaholic, confesses, “…nothing is more difficult than to sit still and rest, doing nothing at all. The very act of resting is the hardest and most courageous act [we] can perform; and often it is quite beyond [our] power.”

If we find ourselves too weak-willed to conquer busyness, God can give us the power we lack. He beckons each of us, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

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This article originally appeared in April 2023 edition of STROLL The Canyons at Scenic Loop magazine.