It’s February – and since Valentine’s Day is on people’s mind, it’s appropriate to talk about love.

But what is love?

Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski shares the story of a young man who was clearly enjoying a fish dinner. He asked, “Young man, why are you eating that fish?” The man replied, “Because I love fish.” The wise sage then said, “Oh, you love the fish, do you? That’s why you took it out of the water and killed it and broiled it!” The rabbi continued: “Don’t tell me you love the fish; you love yourself because it pleased you!”

Rabbi Twerski concluded that so much of what is called “love” is merely “fish-love,” namely a feeling of emotions for someone who (or something that) becomes a “vehicle for gratification.” In contrast, he says, “real love is not what I am going to get, but what I am going to give.”

The rabbi isn’t necessarily saying that it’s wrong to thoroughly enjoy and appreciate life’s simple gifts and pleasures. The point he is making, I believe, is that love in the truest sense is sincere selflessness, not shallow self-centeredness.

I’m no expert on love, so I thought I should offer some of my favorite quotes from people who know a thing or two about the subject:

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” — C.S. Lewis

 “Love is not only something you feel; it is something you do.” – David Wilkerson

“What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men.” – Augustine

“To love someone means to see him as God intended him.”  – Fyodor Dostoevsky

“You will never really love until you love someone who hates you.”  – Jack Hyles

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”   – St. Paul (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) 

“You can always give without loving, but you can never love without giving.” – Amy Carmichael

“The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.” – Rick Warren

“There is no greater love than this: that a person would lay down his life for the sake of his friends.”    –  Jesus (John 15:13)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”– Jesus (John 3:16)

Here’s to celebrating genuine, selfless love, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day and forevermore.

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