Recently, I was waiting to board a plane and, for no apparent reason, a very uptight woman spewed one of the most profane insults at me that I’ve ever heard. How should I respond?

A. Punch her in the nose.

B. Deliver an even more offensive insult about her?

C. Ask the airline representative to kick her off the flight.

D. Cry like a baby and say, “you hurt my feelings!”

E. Smile and ignore the slur.

Despite the great temptation to let her have it, I chose to not return fire and pretend like I didn’t hear the foul remark.

It’s human nature to want to get even when we or someone we love are wronged. We may feel justified in wanting to punish the culprits, as if we have some great moral imperative to be vengeful in order to right some egregious wrong. 

We might do well to heed the advice of the great humanitarian physician and Nobel Peace Prize winner Dr. Albert Schweitzer, who said, “Revenge…is like a rolling stone, which, when a man hath forced up a hill, will return upon him with a greater violence, and break those bones whose muscles gave it motion.” 

Schweitzer is warning us that when someone offends us, the knee-jerk reaction may be to return fire. But more often than not, that strategy tends to end up doing more harm than good. (Just look at some of the tragedies resulting from road rage events on Texas highways!)

Those of us who have studied karate know that when someone picks a fight with us, the wisest thing to do is to walk away from the conflict, not engage, even if we have a greater chance of winning than the other guy. That’s pretty consistent with the teaching of Jesus: “You have heard it said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

Just turn on the news and you’ll see numerous examples of people (including politicians and world leaders) making a mess out of everything because they choose to fight fire with fire, with their mouths and actions. Sadly, innocent parties can get caught in the crossfire of another’s wrath. And it’s the children who suffer the most, not just due to wars caused by aggressive nations far away, but from the battles that can rage between fighting parents right in their own homes.

Proverbs 19:11 tells us how we can take the high road in a conflict: “People with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense.” Overlooking an offense means resisting the temptation to stoop to the level of a person we don’t want to be like. As Romans 12:21 suggests, “Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.” Hard as it might be, demonstrating patient restraint is always the loving and wise thing to do.

So, the next time you get the chance to get even with a person who wrongs you, ask God to help you take the high road. Things will work out better in the end.

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This article originally appeared in the July 2024 edition of STROLL The Canyons at Scenic Loop magazine.